Believe it or not, I only recently learned how to use a power drill. When my wife and I bought our current home, I thought I should learn at least some basic home improvement tasks, but I didn't know where to start. Fortunately, some good friends of ours offered their help. They bought us a power drill as a housewarming gift, and the husband spend a Saturday teaching me how to use the drill and helping me do some small projects to get our house ready to move-in. Over the past couple of years, the drill has come in handy many times and is one of my favorite tools to use. With outside help from my friend, I am now more confident in my abilities to tackle some home improvement projects.
There's a lot of parallels here to personal finance. While personal finance can feel like it should be kept to yourself, sometimes getting outside help can be immensely beneficial for long-term success. I sometimes compare hiring a financial coach to seeing a doctor or hiring a home improvement contractor. The internet allows us the opportunity to do a quick bit of research and figure out how to treat our medical symptoms or how to do a step-by-step install of a new project our homes. Yes, we may be able to "save" some money upfront by doing it ourselves or waiting until our symptoms improve. However, at times we may run the risk of not treating more significant underlying health symptoms or completing a project incorrectly. That's not to mention the lost time and frustration it takes to undo our incorrect project or continue to try to research solutions when our health condition is not improving.
Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't look online to get tips and suggestions for how to improve your financial wellbeing. I actually encourage you to do so! We are fortunate to have the opportunity today to easily consume expert advice for free. But at the end of the day, a streamlined multi-step program meant for the masses (such as, for example, Dave Ramsey's "7 Baby Steps" or The Money Guys "Financial Order of Operations"), while helpful, may only be able to get you so far. Your personal finances are personal, and as such, they need a personalized touch that online advice cannot provide.
That said, how do you know when you've crossed the line from being able to correct your personal finances on your own to when it is time to seek some outside help? In my experience as a coach, while there is no hard-and-fast rule, there are some patterns I have seen that seem to pull people toward seeking help.
You've tried to rectify your finances and are not making progress
This is probably the most common reason why others have reached out to me for coaching. You may feel your spending is out of control, you're not saving enough for the future, or you're not making enough progress on eliminating your debt. Maybe you've read many books, listened to podcasts, and tried many different budgeting apps, but are still having trouble. When people are frustrated and desperate for a change, they may reach out to a coach for help.
There's a specific triggering event
Big events can be overwhelming. Be it a wedding, divorce, graduation, job or career change, adoption or birth of a child, loss of a spouse, or filing for bankruptcy, sometimes we're not able to think clearly or are not sure how to move forward in the midst of our new circumstances. In these times of change and uncertainty, many people have found it beneficial to work with a coach to formulate a plan for how to move forward.
You're not on the same page with your partner about money
Financial disagreements are a significant contributor to divorce. Even if your relationship is not headed toward an end, having different mindsets around spending or long-term goals can lead to tension and frustration that can build up over time between you and your partner. Many people seek out a coach to have greater harmony in their relationships.
You're experiencing negative emotions around money
When you think about your money, you may feel your insides churn a bit. Maybe you felt embarrassed that you couldn't buy Christmas presents for friends and family last year, and you don't want those emotions to come back this year. Maybe your feelings are deeper and there is an underlying feeling of shame, perhaps from growing up in a low-income household or not feeling like you are doing enough to provide for your family today. Shame can also manifest for higher income earners as well, who may feel alienated from their friends and family because of their higher-income status. Many people also experience worry and fear around their money, wondering what they'll do if they lose their job or if the broader economy turns sour. Many people feel uneasy when they believe they are spending too much or saving too little. While negative emotions around money may be complex and may take additional professional help to work through, many people have found help in working with a coach to develop a practical, forward-thinking money plan as a first step in working through negative emotions.
You need motivation or accountability
Sometimes we know that tidying up our finances is something we should do, but we lack motivation to do it on our own, so we hire a coach who can inspire us. I've also found that a lot of folks who come to me are looking for some accountability around their money. They want someone who can encourage them to stick to their long-term goals or who will gently push them to build budgeting habits into their daily lives.
You are being proactive
Perhaps none of the above seem to apply to you, but that doesn't mean there isn't a benefit to working with a coach. I've been finding that even clients who don't have "dramatic" financial situations can still benefit from coaching. They may not be in a difficult spot, but they still want to work with someone to position them better for the future.
One of the first clients I worked with was a young adult under age 20. While he had some concerns about his spending, he came to me because realized that if he didn't learn a way to manage his finances, he believed he was on a trajectory toward debt and missed opportunities in his future. After coaching, he expressed that the upfront investment he put into coaching was worthwhile in the long run.
Should I hire a coach?
In summary, there are many reasons someone would reach out to a coach, and there is not a set rule for "when" the time is right. If you or a loved one may benefit from coaching, or even if you're not sure whether coaching is the right direction to go, my suggestion is to begin a conversation with a coach. Many coaches offer a complimentary session to give you an idea of what working with them will be like. Many coaches are also available for a phone or email consultation to discuss your particular situation. These options allow you to get a better idea for what coaching entails before you commit to it. If coaching does not seem to be right for you, the coach can let you know that as well.
Wherever you are in your financial journey, I wish you the best as you move toward peace around your money!
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